eeeeek!

you ever just get that feeling when you have something stirring in the pit of your gut all the time? you can't sleep, you can't focus, you tune out half the conversations people have with you? am i anxious? am i excited?

i question often what to do with myself, my life, my time. i'm at a stand still right now sitting on the brink of doing new things, but i'm just not there yet. oy. i want to do well, i want to succeed, i want to please the lord and everyone else, and i want to be satisfied with whatever that may be.

i'm ready for whatever.

well maybe i can't sleep because i have no idea what song i want to sing when i audition for american idol in a couple weeks. hahaha. i have free childcare, a free place to stay, and my sister to go through it all with me. it's just one of those things i've always wanted to at least try. i know i won't be the next american idol-heck, i didn't even get a call back for raleigh's local thing (but that was lame). i just want to experience it and say i did it :)

so what now, lord?