let it out

i love God so much. He is so good to me, and i don't even deserve it. He speaks to me, and I don't deserve it. He protects me, and I don't deserve it. He loves me, and I don't deserve it.

i don't think anyone realizes how much He consumes me and most of my thoughts. i am not perfect, in fact very flawed, but somehow i am still good enough in His eyes. i often cannot even wrap my head around unconditional love and how much i lack it. but i try so hard. if He can have it for me, i can have it for others.

i don't wake up in the morning worried or fearful or completely dissatisfied with my life. and He is the only reason why. His promises, His faithfulness, His plan gives me that glimmer of hope that keeps me alive. no matter how awful or how great things are in my life, He is the constant.

i want everyone to know Him the way i do. no religion. no rules. just Him, His Word, His mercy, His love. everything else falls into place once you just surrender. and i promise you, when you ask Him to reveal Himself to you, ask Him to show up, ask Him to be real--He'll really do it. honestly, He hasn't lied to me or let me down yet. only man has done that.

i still don't deserve anything. i am so grateful. i wanna love like Him.